Ezra's 15th Birthday

Every year, we have a treat. Every year, we sing Happy Birthday. But, every year does not get easier. This year seemed significantly subdued because it was just Peter, Alayna and myself to celebrate. It was short and sweet, as will be this post. And, this was the first year we did not do an ash scatter because we decided the road trip to Texas would be this year's ash scatter. So, Eternity Day was very quiet. Just a walk on the beach with the dog after dinner. But, I still wanted Ez to have his 15th Birthday blog post for as long as I keep this blog active...

Happy Birthday, Ezra James. We love you. We miss you.

Ezra James: Turning 14 and Commemorating 13 Eternity Years

Oh, our Ezra James. I know it sounds strange, but it actually gets more challenging to "celebrate" his birthday with each passing year. It's the constant "what if" going through our heads. All the different scenarios of how life might be if he was still with us. And, this year was especially challenging because Jeremiah wasn't here with us and Peter had to work and I had a work training. No one had anytime to bake anything, so I picked up some cupcakes at a local bakery on my way home and we had a small little "Happy Birthday" after Peter woke up and before he left for his night shift. It all felt so rushed. But, I don't think I'll ever be able to let one of his birthdays past without doing something. It's still hard to believe it was 14 years ago. 

It wasn't just his birthday that looked different. With Jeremiah in Texas and Alayna having school, followed by a shift a work, it was just Peter and I to do our annual ash scatter. I know this is a glimpse of the life to come, as we look at (potentially) being empty nesters in less than two years. Knowing we were on our own for the day, we decided to do a day trip to Big Sur and scatter some ashes there. We did some hiking in the redwoods, as well as stopped at a few places along that beautiful coastal drive. 13 years in Eternity. It doesn't feel like that long. And, not a day goes by that I don't think about what "could" be.

13th Birthday

 So, this year, we would have been celebrating Ezra's 13th birthday. If everything was right in the world, we would now be parents to THREE teenagers. Granted, Ezra would not have been your typical teenager, but the sentiment still stands. We had a very quiet celebration at home. My parents drove up for the day and joined us for dinner and cupcakes Alayna made. As the years go by, the celebrations get more simple, short and sweet. It won't be much longer that we have the older two around to help us celebrate, so we relish each year we are together to celebrate our sweet Ezra James. 

Happy Birthday, Ezra. 13 would have looked good on you.  💜

Ezra's 10th Birthday

Our little man would have been a whole decade old today. Hard to believe. He's been gone so long, but we still celebrate him like he's still here. But, it is getting different as the kids get older. Jeremiah wanted to hang with friends after church today. We couldn't say no; we don't ever want him to resent these celebrations. Peter was on the road home from a mountain bike trip and wouldn't be arriving home until after dinner. Alayna wanted a friend to come over since her brother was gone for the afternoon. And, I was invited to go see some like music at a local brewery. But, we still found time to get together and sing Happy Birthday to Ezra. Alayna and her friend made the cake. It was a quiet celebration, but, as long as we acknowledge it, I don't mind what the day looks like. Soon, the kids will be grown and on their own. We won't always be able to celebrate together, but I hope that they'll always remember their brother on his birthday. I know Peter and I will celebrate him every year until the day we are reunited with him in Eternity.

Happy Birthday, Ezra James. We love you.

Number Nine

Our sweet Ezra was born nine years ago. That is crazy to think about. Some days, it feels like forever ago. On others, it feels like yesterday. He was a part of our lives for such a short time, but had a lasting impact that will last until we die and are united with him again in eternity.

We had a small celebration with my parents today. Our oven is broken, so I was unable to make one of my homemade goodies. So, we settled on a store bought cake (which we scraped and decorated ourselves) and yummy Tillamook ice cream. It was special to have my parents here this year.

Happy Birthday, Ezra James! We wish you were here to blow out your candle. We love you. We miss you.

Ezra's Eternity Day, Year 7

It's been 7 years since Ezra was called home. You can read more ponderings about that HERE. Otherwise, we celebrated by doing a small hike along the Avila Beach bluffs and an ash scatter at Pirate's Cove/Cave Landing. It was a simple and sweet celebration.

Eight

Our youngest son, Ezra, would be turning 8 years old today. Every year that passes doesn't make it any easier to celebrate without him. We don't do the balloon release anymore, since it's horrible for the environment. I still bake something and we sing Happy Birthday. But, it's hard. It's painful. Because he's not actually turning eight years old. He will forever be 1 year and 11 days old. I'm not sure what form his body took in Heaven, but part of me hopes he's still a baby. But, perfect in Christ. 

This year, I had school and Peter had to work. So, we celebrated after dinner with homemade cupcakes and ice cream. Simple and sweet.

Happy Birthday, Ezra James! We love you.