What Would Be

I sit in wonder of what would be

Of the places you'd go, the people you'd see

Wrapped up in thoughts of what you would do

Wondering what things would make you you.

Would you ride a bike and throw a ball?

Wondering if you would be big or small

Would you be able to run and hide?

Would you prefer the swing or the slide?

How much would you laugh and cry?

How fast would the time pass by?

Wondering about the things you'd say

How delightful it would be to see you play.

But, things were not as we were told

You will never grow up, never grow old

You exist in a place far from the earth

You experienced a new kind of birth

And we were left here to ponder this fate

Wondering how much longer we'll have to wait

To see you again, in a whole new light

When all of this wrong will finally be right.

~ SMF 08-12-11

Poems

These are the poems I wrote for Ezra, one after his birth and one after his death. I decided to post them here for those who were unable to attend either memorial.

Uncertain Beginnings
A life, fresh and new
Untainted, yet troubled
A worry, festering fear
Daunting and in control
Uncertainty looms with sadness
What's to come of this?
So unprepared, unripe
Not ready for the picking
A breath not yet your own
A song still without melody
How did we get this far so soon?
So much still stands in the way
But your heart beats steady
And your skin, so warm
Dancing to your own tune
Far behind the rest
But there's time for that later
Now, its just silent
Arms longing to hold
Cradled, but empty
Waiting for hope
A power we cannot produce
A feeling no machine can duplicate
A womb strong enough to sustain
Grace, which can heal and bring life
So, with a sigh, we wait.
SMF
08-14-07


The You I See
In an image all your own
But entirely of God
Every cell stitched with love
Your being, a warm sensation
Your purpose complete
A source of joy and uncertainty
A necessary existence
Torn away, but always lingering
Even still, you move
Even silent, you're heard
Even past, you're present
Bigger than you ever were
Stronger than you've ever been
Wiser than we'll ever know
Your heart beats beyond
This life you never lived
So abrupt and unsure
Even the air couldn't contain it
Pure beauty, unrecognizable
Yet so everlasting
Even when we cannot see it anymore
Far away, and still so close
Lingering here
In a brokenness not complete
So loved and so true
This path will always remain
A hope in something greater
Far better than ever before
SMF
08-24-08



(Those are "working titles"...I am not 100% sure I like either title. I often leave my poems untitled until later, when I have a different perspective of them. If anyone has any thoughts on titles, I would love to hear your perspective!)